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January 6 – Why Can’t I Follow Him?

January 11, 2012

“Peter said unto him, Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? Jesus answered him, Wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake? Verily, verily, I say unto thee, The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied me thrice.” – John 13:37-38

Sometimes I simply don’t understand why I cannot seem to follow Him.  I have a desire to, yet I find myself following after my own desires.  Why is it I seem to always fail in the flesh?  My heart desires to honor Him, but instead I fall short.  If I do follow what I think to be right, it is sometimes done without consulting God.  Even when I do good works, I tend to step out on my own and think of how I might accomplish this or that.

Like Peter, if I desire to do it my way, I will find myself being chastised by the Lord.  Peter could not do what he thought he could do, and neither can I.  I sincerely want to be corrected because I know it humbles me.  It brings me back into a proper outlook and relationship with Him.  The Lord is fully aware of my heart, but He is equally aware of my failures in the flesh.  My ultimate desire would be to follow Him, to let Him lead me – to not move until He moves.  If I would control my tongue and not speak out of turn, and simply allow the Lord to lead, I would save myself so much embarrassment and guilt associated with my thoughtlessness.  Peter’s statement was sincere, but he couldn’t follow Him like he needed to.  My desire to follow Jesus is sincere, but I cannot follow His every step, as hard as I may try.

Jesus understands me better than I understand myself; and He knows what I will choose to do.  This is why I am so amazed at the abundant mercy He has for me and all those who sincerely seek Him.  How He can know (in advance) where I will fail Him, yet offer His grace to me in spite of myself, is almost beyond belief.  This alone should motivate me to listen to Him first, so my steps will be in the right direction.  Depending solely upon my own will and love for the Lord will not lead me to follow Him according to His paths.  My will must be in absolute submission to the the Lord and my trust in His direction, not mine.

I commit my heart to the Lord.  As I do so, I commit my body, soul and spirit to Him.  I will allow Him to lead me and discipline me.  I humbly bow before Him and pray that He will continue His work in me.

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